Rejoined
by Raghnailt
Summary: PG13 at the mo. will be R though, i think. What happens when Buffs abusive boyfriend heads away for 2 weeks and her kind, sexy ex comes back. Trouble and spuffyness of course! Chpt 15 up now!
1. Chapter 1

_**Rejoined Chapter 1: **_

Damn, damn, damn and double damn! Why was it that the phone always had to ring when you were running late? The half dressed blonde ran down the stairs; almost falling in the process, to reach the phone just in time, out of breath and flustered.

"Hello?" Buffy listened for a response. "Hello?"

She heard a sigh, and then a barely audible whisper, so faint that she had to strain to even hear the single word:"Buffy."

One word was all it took to bring back the whirl of emotions from where she locked them up so long ago. One word and she was over-whelmed by the feelings of worry, love, lust and anger all over again. Even though she hadn't heard the voice any place in the last two years, (that is if you didn't count the dreams she still had regularly) she didn't even have to wonder who it was. After what seemed to be an eternity to both of them she stuttered, "Sp– Spike."

She could just see his cocky grin when he said "That 'tis. Long time, no chat. How are you luv?"

Buffy knew she shouldn't react, so she tried and failed to keep all her pent up anger in, but to hear him brush off his two-year self-inflicted exile as something so meaningless just got to her.

"Long time indeed, William. I'm just fine and 'bloody dandy', unlike how I was about two years ago, but you wouldn't know anything about that now would you?" she spat.

A bewildered Spike sat dumbly at the other end of the phone. She was obviously angry. She never called him William unless she was furious. But what right had she to be angry? She was the one who told him to go back to England to see his gran. (Okay, he might have been away a bit longer than planned, but still!) She was the one who wanted to make a clean break.

"Look, luv, what can I say? Just did what you wanted."

"What I wanted?" Her voice was as cold as steel. " What I wanted was you. I wanted you to be here with me; I wanted you to come back, and at the very least I wanted to be in contact with you!"

"Well then why didn't you say that at the time? You had the address, you had the phone number. If you wanted to get in touch that badly you could have. I just left the ball in your court. Couldn't figure out what to do after our last conversation."

She inwardly cringed. What could she tell him? She couldn't tell him the truth that was for sure. She couldn't tell anyone the truth. No one could know. But at the same time she couldn't lie to him. It was Spike; he'd know in an instant if she were lying.

"Well, after that argument I was so pissed off with you I um . . .well I kinda took everything that reminded me of you and um . . . burned it. Including where the address and the phone number were written down."

"Everything?" was his panicked reply.

"Not the duster. I couldn't do that, besides it looks good on me." She heard him sigh with relief.

That wasn't the real reason. She'd kept it because she wanted a reminder of him and the only reason she was able to keep it was because she had convinced Angel that it wasn't Spikes. She claimed to have gotten the same coat. He'd kill her if he ever found out she'd kept it

"That it does, luv, that it does."

"So why did you call anyway?"

"To tell you that I'm coming home"

Her head was reeling. Part of her wanted him home, to feel his arms wrapped around her, but she knew that wasn't going to happen, and she didn't know how to explain it to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

_(Sunnydale)_

Buffy looked at her watch. She had ten minutes to get ready before Angel was coming to pick her up for their date. She ran upstairs and quickly got changed and had just done her make up when the doorbell rang. She went down to let Angel in and was greeted with a kiss.

"I'll be ready in about five minutes, I just have to do my hair."

A look of anger quickly flashed across his face and she knew she'd have to be careful tonight; he was in one of 'those' type of moods. She ran up and quickly finished off and went down to see him pacing up and down the hall. He was definitely not in a good mood.

"You ready?" he practically growled.

"And waiting." she responded with fake light-heartedness.

"Then lets go."

She checked to make sure she had her house keys and hopped into his car.

_(London)_

Spike hadn't got off his bed since making that call to Buffy. Something was wrong; she was hiding something. He was sure of it. But then again, what right did he have to expect to know everything about her life? He lost that right when he lost contact with her.

_They gave me a life that's not easy to live_

_And then sent me on my way_

_I left my love and forgot my dreams_

_And lost them all along the way_

Spike's head turned to listen to the song on the radio surprised at how apt the lyrics were to his own life.

_Those little things you say_

_When words mean so much_

_You never back down_

_When they all shy away_

_You always listen to me_

God he missed her. He started to wonder where she was right now: Whom she was with, what she was doing or feeling. These thoughts weren't helping to settle his mind as he started to wonder if she had a boyfriend, and if she did was she with him now . . .

_What do I get to get me through this sleepless night?_

_And what do I have to hold when no one's there to hold me tight?_

_And what do I see, the only thing that gets me through this?_

_That's what I feel, and I feel you _

His eyes strayed to the photograph on his bedside locker. It was taken the day he told her he was leaving. She had looked so beautiful. He knew he had to get back to her, and the sooner the better

_(Sunnydale)_

Buffy was sitting, staring into space when her best friend, Willow came up behind her. Willow looked at her friend. She worried about her sometimes. She knew Buffy would never admit it, but some of her friends were convinced that Angel beat her up. How many times could a girl fall down the stairs? Or bump into a door? What happened to the old Buffy, who stood up for what she believed in?

"Heya"

"Hey there Wills, didn't see you come in."

"Sure you know me: could sneak up on a mouse at fifty yards" She replied with a grin. "What's up? You seem a bit preoccupied; fight with Angel?"

Buffy quickly looked around and seeing Angel at the bar talking to Xander, she lowered her voice and told Willow about Spike's phone call.

"Oh my god! How long has it been since you talked to him? What ever happened to you two? You never did tell me. One day you're all lovey dovey, the next day you don't talk"

Buffy wished she could stop the lies, but she was ashamed that she had stopped talking to Spike when Angel found out about it, which was the same day she conveniently had 'fallen down the stairs'

"We just had a fight, and lost contact over the months. He says he's coming back."

"When?"

"He wasn't too sure. He'll be back for senior year though."

Willow looked at the blonde and realised why she didn't seem too sure how to take the news.

"So what's going to happen? You and him going to get back together? Or you going to stick to faithful old Angel?"

'What a great choice of words to describe Angel,' Buffy thought. Faithful! He didn't even believe that such a word existed. She wanted to get back together with Spike, but really didn't want to tell Angel it was over. She didn't have the guts to, and besides she didn't have the hospital bed booked.

"I don't know what I'm going to do" she sighed.

"What you're going to do about what?" asked Angel.

Buffy glanced quickly at Willow silently begging her not to mention what they were talking about. She looked up at Angel and gave him a big smile and said.

"I'm not sure which to buy: the red hipsters, or the purple dress I saw at the sales."

Angel thought for a moment. "That's an easy choice: the purple dress. It's your colour."

'But the decision isn't going to be that easy,' thought Buffy ruefully.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

(Sunnydale)

Buffy was asleep almost before her head had hit the pillow. She was still at a loss about what to do: go for Spike and live a normal, happy life. Or stay with Angel out of fear and live a lie. She knew it was obvious which one she should go for but she didn't seem to have the courage anymore.

_A hundred days have made me older_

_Since the last time I saw your pretty face_

_A thousand lies have made me colder_

_And I don't look at this the same_

She remembered the last time that they had been together. They had gone to the airport together, to see Spike off. They had held each other tight, neither wanting to be the first to break away and say goodbye. In the end they didn't have to make the decision, the last call for Spike's flight had been called. Their bodies had finally un-entwined, and the tears streamed down both their faces. He boarded before she had told him how much she cared.

_All the miles that separate_

_Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

Buffy was falling further and further into 'Spikeland'. It was like silent movie clip, and she and Spike were the stars. It was amazing how easily she could lie to herself in the daylight hours, but when the darkness came and she was left alone with her hopes, fears, thoughts and dreams, the truth always came back to haunt her.

_I think about you baby and I dream of you all the time_

_I'm here without you_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight there is only you and me_

But what if she was finding what she really wanted in her dreams? What if her dreams were messages? What if her dreams were telling her what she should do to be truly happy?

_Everything I know, and anywhere I go_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love_

_And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love_

What if her dreams were telling her to finish with Angel because she was still in love with Spike? Oh my god! She was still in love with Spike!

She woke up with a start, "I'm in love with Spike." That was the first time she ever said the words out loud, and it sounded right. She glanced at her clock; it was 10:15. Willow should be up. She picked up the phone.

"Willow?"

"Yeah?" came the soft reply.

"Can you come over as quick as you can? I need to talk to you."


	4. Chapter 4

_(Sunnydale Saturday morning )_  
  
Willow rushed over to Buffy's house and when she got the there Joyce told her that Buffy was still up in bed. Willow went upstairs and saw Buffy curled up in a ball on the bed, both arms wrapped around Mr. Gordo. She looked so small and fragile lying there on the bed.  
  
"Hey, I'm here"  
  
She was greeted by a quiet sobbing. Willow went over and put her arms around her crying friend, and started stroking her hair the way you would to a little lost child. As she was brushing back Buffys hair from her face she noticed yet another bruise on Buffys cheek.  
  
"That looks nasty. Bang into a door on the way in last night?"  
  
Buffy lowered her eyes, unable to look Willow in the eye. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle the pity that would undoubtedly be residing in her eyes.  
  
"It wasn't a door. . . it rarely had been one . . ." Willow looked at her friend knowing it was best to say nothing just yet. This was Buffys story, she had to let her tell it her way. " . . .It was Angel"  
  
Willow couldn't wait to get her hands on that son of a bitch! He would pay for this, but now was not the time for that. She was Buffys best friend. Now was the time to comfort her, make her feel better there would be plenty of time to plot Angels demise.  
  
"How long has it being going on?"  
  
"Nearly two years on and off . . . around the time me and Spike stopped talking . . . . he found out we still phoned and wrote to each other and I suppose just got jealous . . . . it was partly my fault though . . I was meant to be going out with Angel . . . . I shouldn't have kept in touch with Spike. Should I?"  
  
"Of course its not your fault! You and Spike have been friends since like kindergarten. You had every right to keep in touch, but Angel had no right, none whatsoever to tell you who you could or couldn't talk to. And as for hitting you . . . no one has that right Buff. You know that. Did you ever tell Spike about this?"  
  
"I couldn't . . . Angel made me promise not to contact him again . . . . and to make sure I didn't . . . couldn't, he burned the address and telephone number I had for him . . . even threw in some of the stuff Spike gave me and photos of us for good measure . . . . sniffles What am I gonna go? I can't go back to him but I can't leave him either. God only knows what he'd do to me if I tried!"  
  
"We'll work something out. I promise. Don't worry about it. Is he still going on that road trip on Monday?" Buffy nodded "Fine then, that's two days away. Sunday night you're staying in mine, and you're gonna phone him and tell him its over. Just don't tell him were you're staying then he can't find you. But I'm afraid you'll have to explain to your mam, so she doesn't tell him where you are, ok? Do you think you can do that?"  
  
"Do you think it will work?"  
  
"Of course it will its an original Rosenberg plan! When have they ever failed?"

Sunnydale Saturday evening  
  
You would barely recognise Willows room, let alone see the floor with all the books strew across it. She knew she had it somewhere. She had written spikes email address in one of her books. The question was which one! After her talk with Buffy, and Buffs admission that she was in love with Spike, it was obvious what she had to do.  
  
Angel had always being wary of Spike for one reason or another, so if Willow could convince Spike to get his ass back to Sunnydale as soon as possible before Angel got back from his road trip, there would be less chance of Angel going for Buffy. All it was counting on was Spike still having feelings for Buffy which Willow was sure he did. And if he did it could end up in Buff and Spike getting back together, and getting the old happy-go-lucky Buffy back. All she had to do was find the email address, get Spike home, and hey presto all would be good in the dale of the sun!

_London (Sunday morning)  
_  
To:  
From:  
  
_Hey Stranger,  
  
Long time no chat. Heard you were planning on coming back here for your final year. You know when yet?  
  
Well I may as well get to the point of this, I need you to get back here as quick as you can. Buff is in trouble and I think you are one of the few people that will be able to her. Please write back as soon as you can either way._

_ Love Willow_  
  
Oh shit what was wrong? He knew something was up with Buff on the phone, he had to find out.  
  
"Uncle Giles . . . I'm heading back to Sunnydale on the next plane, is that ok? Theres something I have to do there. Yeah I'll pack my bags now"


	5. Chapter 5

  
  
Authors notes: Hey sorry about the delay but i got swamped in a whole load of work before my mocks, and due to the extra study i put in i have managed to get honours in all but neglected to work on the story, in the next chapter i was planing on doing a run down on what happens at the bronze, but if anyone has any ideas what direction they want the story to go please please write in, scrap that please please write in even just to say what you think of the story be it good, bad or bloody awful, but if you are complaining about it could you please do me a favour and tell me where i could make it better, cos it is my first time writing anysort of fanfiction so i need all the help i can get, thanks   
  
  
  
Chapter 5   
  
  
_ (Sunday evening)   
  
To: Fluffybunnyslippers@hotmail.com   
From: thebigbad@hotmail.com   
  
I got your email this morning and I booked the next flight home I could get, I should be back over there sometime around half ten Wednesday morning. I'll be back on my own, Rupes will be here at the end of the summer.   
  
.Spike._   
  
'Thank god he was coming back so quickly. Should she tell Buffy or leave it as a surprise' Willow wondered ' No she should tell her, prepare her for the meeting, or should she?'   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
_(Monday Afternoon ~ ice cream parlour)_   
  
  
  
'So you wanna go Bronzing with me Wednesday night, eh, Buff? What you say?" Willow asked in between mouth-fulls of ice cream.   
  
"What's on? It's not like you to go on a Wednesday night. Who's gonna be there? Anyone special for you maybe?"   
  
"Shame on you thinking the only reason I would go out would be to look for some arm candy for myself. Could I not just want to spend some quality time with my best friend, eh?"   
  
"Wills you can't lie to save your life you know that don't you? What's going on? You're hiding something!"   
  
"No . . . no I'm not. I just want to have a girlie night out, you know, get the glad rags on, get out of the house and let our hair down, just thought you might like it for a change. We haven't gone out since you and angel you know . . . . ended"   
  
"I'm warning you, Will if this is a set up you're dead. I'm not ready for anything resembling a male right now. So don't even think about it!"   
  
"Me? . . . set up? . . . . nope. . . . . none of that for me"   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
_(Wednesday morning ~ Airport)_   
  
  
  
Willow fidgeted nervously as she waited for Spike to some off the plane. She had emailed him and arranged to pick him up.   
  
She quickly scanned the crowds, but couldn't see him anywhere. Where the hell was he, . . . . then she spotted him. No wonder she hadn't picked him out of the crowd. Gone was the longish brown hair and in its place was a short peroxide look. Different but she had to admit it did suit him.   
  
"Spike, Welcome back" she greeted him with a big bear hug.   
  
"Wills, so good to see you. It's been too long, so nice of you to offer to pick me up. How are you?"   
  
"I'm fine never been better, yourself?"   
  
"Grand so far. . . . jet lag hasn't kicked in yet. Now tell me what was wrong with Buff? It's not serious . . . . is it?"   
  
"Emmmmmm . . . . . . I think that's her story to tell you in her own time, I can't do that to you. But she needs you right now, so even if she doesn't spill all straight away just be patient, its gonna be hard for her to tell you. It took long enough for her to tell me about it ok?"   
  
"Ok"   
  
"Now, lets get you home to bed, get you some rest. You are coming out bronzing tonight, meet everyone again?"   
  
"Will Buffy be there?"   
  
"Yup and she doesn't know yet that you are home, I kept it as a surprise so you're not to call her! Capice?"   
  
"You didn't tell her I'm coming home?"   
  
"She doesn't even know I emailed you! I thought she might like the surprise, she needs something different in her life right now to make her feel better, and you my friend are the best candidate. Now stop you'll trick me into telling you what's up with her and I'm not falling for that, lets get your bags and get you home to bed"   
  



	6. Chapter 6

A/n: sorry this one is soo short, but i had a free class in school and quickly penned it i think it will make the transition to the next chapter easier (they will be at the bronze, buffy and spike will meet etc etc) so before that happens i thought it might be good to give an insight into what all three were thinking. i was thinking of bringing in more of the cast later on not sure, i think its a bit early yet and wanted to focus of the angel being a right bastard (no offence angel shippers), buffy been broken and eventually mended before i start to medle in other characters lives. anyway tell me what you think please!!   
oh and before i forget . . . . . . again, i own none of these characters i just like to play with them. I;d also like to thank everyone whos reviewed the fic so far, i hope you enjoy the rest :) well Slan go Fóill   
  
  
  
Chapter 6   
  
  
  
_(Wednesday night ~ Buffy's house)_   
  
  
  
Buffy looked at her self critically in the mirror. She wasn't too sure about the outfit. It had been so long since she dared wear something like it out, she cringed when she remembered why ~ Angel didn't like it when she dressed up like that where there could be lads eyeing her up, so as per usual she did what she had been told. Still she thought all the more reason to keep the leather trousers and her delicate red tank top on. She wanted to leave the cowardly Buffy behind and re-find herself, . . . anyway she could get Willows opinion on it when she came around to pick her up later. Now to try and sort out something with her hair and war paint . . . . .   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
_(Same time~ Spikes place)_   
  
  
  
'What am I doing? Am I crazy? I can't just turn up out if the blue? Can I? What would I say? Hi guys? Huh yeah, . . . but I would like to surprise Buffy, geez just to see her again, talk to her. Yeah I'll go with Willows plan. She'll never know what hit her. What if she doesn't want to see me? She wasn't exactly Ms. Friendly on the phone. I'm not ready to face her? Oh why oh why did I let Willow talk me into this? But I want to see her, yes I do. an hour to go, suppose I may as well get a shower . . . . or I could go make a quick social call .. . . .no I suppose that would ruin the surprise of it all . . . . .   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
_(Willows place)_   
  
  
  
'What made me think of this, I suppose I should have told Buffy. But it will be so nice to see a real smile on her face for a change. She will be happy to see Spike, sure she loves him. No she won't be mad, and I can't tell her not when we've come this far. Lets just hope Spike doesn't land me in some serious shit . . . . look at the time'   
  
"Mam, I'm going around to Buffy's now to pick her up, ok? Yeah I think I might be staying in hers. I have the keys if not. Night.   
  



	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7  
(Wed night The Bronze)  
_  
They had only been there about twenty minutes but Buffy already began to feel more relaxed, more comfortable with herself.. She smiled to herself as she remembered what she had been like just before she had come into the Bronze, nearly making Willow take her home to change. She was glad now that she hadn't. She was attracting enough attention just by being here as something other than Angels arm-candy. And was starting to enjoy the looks of envy and admiration she was getting from all around.  
  
Buffy looked at Willows face and wondered what, or who, had brought a smile like that to her face. Before she had a chance to ask she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Buffy, luv, its soo good to see you again."  
  
"Spike, . .. you're back! What . . . when . . . how . Willow what did you have to do with this! Wow, its great to see you again. When did you get back"  
  
"Today, I came in about half ten"  
  
"Is your uncle with you?"  
  
"No, he won't be back til the end of the summer, I'm just setting up the place for him"  
  
"Wow, things must have changed, there was a time he wouldn't trust you alone in the house overnight, and now he's leaving you there for over two months!"  
  
After several more minutes of stilted awkward conversation, they lapsed into an awkward silence. 'For gods sake think of something to say, thought Spike  
  
" Buff you wanna dance . . .. . you know for old time sake?"  
  
" Yeah, I'd like that"  
  
As Spike lead Buffy out to the dance floor the opening bars of 'Have I told you lately' filled the club. They moved in closer and started to sway in time to the music

_Have I told you lately that I love you,  
Have I told you lately theres no one else above you  
Fill my heart with gladness, take away my sadness  
Ease my troubles that's what you do_

'God did he know how to pick songs to suit the mood' thought Buffy as she lay her head down on his shoulder. It felt right just dancing there with him even after all this time. They fitted together like two interlocking pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. But it was too soon . . . . her and Angel had just ended. She couldn't be thinking like that. Anyway she reasoned she knew next to nothing about what he had been up to for the last two years, if he'd ever gotten over her, . . .. if he was trying to get over someone else . . . nada!

_For the morning sun and all its glory  
Meets the day with hope and comfort too  
You fill my life with laughter, some how you make it better  
Ease my troubles that's what you do_

She was still as beautiful as he had remembered. At first he had seen no signs of the Buffy Willow had been hinting at, but as he looked closer he noticed how every so often her eyes had darted quickly around the club as if trying to reassure herself someone wasn't there. Even the way she had flinched when he had his hand on her shoulder, not to mention the old bruise that was on her cheekbone, fair enough it was nearly gone , but it still looked as if it had been nasty. What ever was up he'd sort it out, who was he kidding he'd still do anything for her. He glanced down at her head resting gently on his shoulder and impulsively gave her a kiss on the cheek . . . .

_There's a love that's defined  
And it's yours and mine like the sun  
And at the end of the day  
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one_

Did he just kiss me? Wondered Buffy or was it some kind of dream 'cos if it was I don't think I want to wake up from it. They continued dancing neither saying a word but thankfully they seemed to have overcome the whole awkward silence and had moved on to the companionably one, which comforted both of them. Finally the song ended and both realised that it was time to break apart, and go back to will who they'd left alone at the table

Willow watched the two blondes on the dance floor with a satisfied grin. Maybe getting them together wouldn't be as hard as she had first thought. All that she would have to do is to get past Buffys stubborn insistence that she wasn't ready for any other guys, and that she wanted to re-find her-self! But who better to 're-find' yourself with than your two best friends?! And if one of them turned out to become something more than that well one of them turns out to be something more. . . . no biggie. And if Buffy was happier in her self it would make it easier for Willow to introduce Oz, with Spike back now there was no worry of Buffy feeling like a third nipple, and it might just push the two of them together . . . . 


	8. Chapter 8

  
Authors notes: I'd like to thank everyone who has review so far, yet again apoligise for being a lazy git and not updating the story, but i have most of the next chapter written, all i have to do is but the finishing touches in and decied if buffys going to tell Spike yet, if not it will prob happen the chapter after!   
yet again pplllllleeeeeaaaassssseeeeeee review, i claim it helps writers block, and it makes me feel better and happier, and the happier i am the more likely i am to write the story instead of studing for the leaving :)   
oh and if anyone at anystage can either post or email me some things about american schools, like about when they go back, times and how many subjects ppl do, cos we work on a whole other system :) thanks   
  
  
**Chapter 8**   
  
_Willow_   
  
She had been right! She knew there was still something between Buffy and Spike. It had been obvious that Buffy still harboured feelings for Spike, just from the way she talked about him, not to mention how she looked at him. And there had never been any doubt about Spikes feelings, he'd promised to love Buffy forever, and even if Buffy probably didn't see it, Willow did. It was good that he was home. She knew that Buffy hadn't said anything about Angel to him yet, and probably wouldn't unless she had a gentle nudge in the right direction. She'd have to do it before Angel came back, and he'd be back soon. No doubt he would start a fight when he saw Spike. Those two had never got along. She just hoped she was right that Buffy hadn't changed so much that she would keep the whole Angel thing a secret from Spike, because if that was what she planned to do Willow would have to take it upon herself to tell him and she didn't want to be the one to do that   
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Spike_   
  
It was weird. He was back in good old Sunnydale for the first time in two years and it was as if he had never left. He had gone to the Bronze and danced with Buffy just like the old times. He smiled ruefully to himself as he remembered their dance earlier that night. He had gotten caught in the moment and seemed to be reliving so many memories, thinking, maybe even wishing it was those old days again. She many not have responded to the kiss like he hoped but on the up side she didn't rush away from him. So there was still some hope, and something to work on   
He was still wondering what had happened to her. Something or someone had hit 'his' Buffy and bruised her. He shook himself, she wasn't his anymore, was she? Chances were she wasn't going to tell him what happened straight out. He'd talk to Willow and get whatever scraps of information that she'd give him and make Buffy think he knew more than he did, and ask her to fill in the gaps. Then he'd deal with whoever the bastard was.   
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Buffy_   
  
Willow had done the right thing in convincing her to go out tonight, she'd really enjoyed herself and not only because Spike was back. It was like a weight of her shoulders to know that Angel wasn't going to be there. Thank God he wouldn't be back for nearly two more weeks. It would give her sometime to pluck up the courage to tell Spike about it . . . . . . and to give him some time to calm down after hearing it. He never had liked the 'poofter'. She'd tell him tomorrow . . . . or maybe the next day. Would he ever forgive her for going with Angel? She hoped so, she really needed all the friends   
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**  
  
Brrrrng! Brrrrng!  
  
Buffy sleepily reached over to answer the phone  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey there sleepy head, you enjoy last night? Did you get home o.k. after I left you?"  
  
Think Buffy, you know it can't be Spike. Your mind is playing tricks on you again. Sure he's still in England. . .. oh no wait, last night was his first night back. Memories came flooding back to her, him smiling, them dancing, him kissing her, oh my god he'd kissed her  
  
"Spike! Last night was good, one of the best I've had in a long time" She cringed, she'd just put her foot in it hadn't she? Now he'd think that she thought it'd had been a good night cause he was back! Great going Buff. Cover up, think of something to say "It was good to see you again, I still can't believe Will didn't tell me you were coming back! We got home ok though thanks"  
  
"I was wondering, would you . . . would you like to go for a coffee later . .. . you know emm to catch up on old times and stuff"  
  
"err . .. . emmm yeah sure I'd love to!. Say two at the espresso palace. That ok with you?"  
  
"Sure is, I'll see you then, luv, g'bye"  
  
Willow rolled over to see her best friend with a stupid grin plastered from ear to ear "Who was on the phone, or do I even have to ask?"  
  
"It was Spike, he wants to meet for coffee, to catch up on old times and stuff . .. oh my god what am I going to wear?"  
  
"This from the girl who claimed less then a week ago and I quote 'I'm not ready for anything resembling a male right now'?" Willow said with a smile  
  
"Its not a male . . .its Spike! I didn't just say that did I?"  
  
"Oh yes you did I'm sure Spike would take kindly to knowing you don't think of him as a male, don't you"  
  
"But he won't know will he? Please?"  
  
"What else won't he know. Are you going to tell him what happened between you and Angel. Because someone better, before Angel comes back to reclaim 'his girl' and somehow I don't think Spike will take too kindly to that. He's going to have to be told and I think it would be better if it came from you."  
  
"I will I'm just not ready yet. O.k. I promise if it feels right I'll tell him today, and if I haven't told him by the end of the week you can. I just want to catch up with him and find out what's been going on in his life before I burden him with my problems"  
  
"Don't you see, he wouldn't think of it as a burden! But I'll let you do it your way but you have three days to tell him otherwise I will."  
  
"O.k . . . . . So what do you think I should wear?"  
  
Willow just sighed, and then started laughing at her friend frantically throwing her clothes everywhere while complaining that she had nothing to wear

Buffy looked at herself in the mirror one last time before heading out to meet Spike. She'd finally decided to wear a simple pair of blue jeans, and a purple tank top. She'd got Willow to do her hair in gentle waves that framed her face, and hid the last of Angels bruises. 'Shit' she thought as she looked at her watch 'it was time to go, she was late . . .. '  
  
She ran in the door of the espresso palace, almost ten minutes late. She spotted Spike over in the booth in the corner and quickly made her way over to him  
  
"Sorry for being late, I kinda lost track of the time"  
  
"Don't worry about it. For a while I thought maybe you just weren't going to turn up but I should have remembered the customary Buffy lateness. Remember how we used to be late for all our classes back in the day?"  
  
Buffy smiled, and he cheeks flushed slightly, "But that wasn't all my fault now was it?" She retorted catching his eye  
  
He winked at her "Well I didn't hear you complaining at the time, did I? "  
  
Buffy's faced flared up. She had to get off this topic before she decided to relive some of those good old days. "So what's with the whole new peroxide look?"  
  
He gave her one of his infamous smirks "Couldn't have you the only bottle blond could I?"  
  
"I don't dye my hair!" she protested and went to hit him playfully across the shoulder pretending to be hurt. And before Buffy had a chance to drop her had, he caught it in his.  
  
"But the roots tell another story don't they pet?"  
  
Her free hand went up to the top of her head. "Ha gotcha Goldie locks, don't worry I won't tell anyone"  
  
"Get lost Spike!"  
  
His voice lowered as he whispered across the table "if you want me to leave you can just put your hands on my hot, tight little body and make me"  
  
"Your hot chocolate sir, with the baby marshmallows that you asked for. Can I take your order ma'am?"  
  
"I'll just have a cappuccino, thanks"  
  
"So what do you want. Will I stay or will I go?"  
  
"You know the answers always stay"  
  
Spike grimaced slightly but decided not to pick her up on her oh so subtle dig, this was no time for an argument, those had always ending in one of two things. Her crying and him being a mass of guilt for days afterward, or a serious make out session. Not that he'd mind one of those right now, but hopefully that would happen in its own good time. Right now he just wanted to catch up on what was going on in her life.  
  
"So what made you come back so soon, last time I was talking to you you didn't know when you were going to be coming home"  
  
"Emmm" should her tell her why he wondered, maybe it was best to take the bull by the horns. "I just found out something and wanted to check it out, you know"  
  
"About what? Was it from Will? Was that why she didn't seem surprised to see you at the Bronze last night. She knew you were coming back didn't she ?"  
  
"Yeah to both, she picked me up from the airport"  
  
"She told you didn't she?"  
  
"Told me what?"  
  
"Please don't patronise me like that Spike"  
  
"No I swear she told me nothing, just hinted that I needed to come home. And in my time away lets just say she hasn't learnt the act of subtlety"  
  
"So she didn't say why she wanted you home?"  
  
"No all she said was that you were in some sort of trouble and said if you wanted to tell me about it you would. But it might help if I was around. That's all I know. I swear to you. So do you want to tell me about it?"  
  
"Do I want to tell you . .. . I suppose I do. But not here. Its gonna be hard enough to tell you with out airing the dirty linen in public"  
  
"O.k. but before I put my foot in it when she said you were in trouble she didn't mean 'in trouble'. .. did she?"  
  
"Buffy laughed "If you're asking me am I pregnant, the answer is no I'm not! But I do want to .. . need to talk to you about it later . . maybe even after this coffee, that is if you want to come around to mine, you don't have to if you don't want, but you could also pick up your duster at the same time"  
  
"I'd like that"  
First of all i'd like to thank everyone whos reviewed.  
Infogal:angel won't kill buffy, but you never know how evil he can be when he gets a spoon in his hand. (never mind me its my lifes aim to kill someone with a spoon!)  
  
About half an hour later, both Buffy and Spike were finishing up their coffees. They had chatted about everything and everyone - except what was troubling Buffy, but none the less as the conversation got underway Spike noticed that Buffy had become more and more comfortable and a lot less jumpy. They paid their bill and got up to leave, on the way out the door Spike put his arm around Buffy's waist, all of a sudden her whole body seemed to stiffen under his touch, she looked at the hand that was wrapped around her and visibly relaxed. When he found out who had fucked her up so bad that she was like this . . . he'd kill them


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_Buffys House- The Kitchen Table_  
  
"Do you want anything to eat or drink?" Buffy asked Spike trying to prolong the happy almost loving atmosphere for as long as possible. She didn't know how he was going to react to her news. Would he blame her for letting it happen? Would he act like the big brother she never had and get it into his head to give Angel a seeing to? Or would he just act as if he didn't know her? She knew she couldn't deal with that, but she also knew she had better tell him, and give it a chance to sink in before he'd be faced by Angel.  
  
"No, I'm not hungry, thanks. But if you've got a can of coke I wouldn't say no."  
  
"Here you go" said Buffy handing him his coke and sitting down at the table across from him. She looked at him and managed to catch his eye. She sighed and just lowered her eyes, unable to look at him and tell him the truth at the same time. She wondered if she did what would she see in them, loathing, pity, anger, or worst of all nothing.  
  
He put his hand on her shoulder, "What's wrong, Buff. Did I do something wrong?"  
  
"You didn't, but I did"  
  
"What? What do you mean. You didn't do anything wrong. . . . . " It suddenly dawned on him, "are you talking about the 'dirty linen' you mentioned earlier?"  
  
All Buffy could so was nod  
  
"Look, luv, if you don't feel up to talking about it, don't. There's no pressure. You know that don't you?"  
  
"No I have to tell you. . . it started about two years ago. I didn't know what to do, who to tell, . . . who'd have believed me anyway. It was nearly always my fault though"  
  
"What was" he asked, but it was almost as if he hadn't said anything. Her eyes, thought welled up with unshed tears, just stared vacantly at the wall as if she was in some sort of a daze.  
  
"It was just . . . I was so lonely when you went. For gods sake I took to sleeping in your duster 'cause it smelt like you. They all tried to help me, console me but I wouldn't let them, I didn't want anyone but you. I pushed them all away when I needed them the most."  
  
Buffy started chewing on her lip, and looked so vulnerable that Spike couldn't help himself and went over to her, and wrapped his arms around her. That's when Buffy just couldn't hold the tears in anymore and let them stream steadily down her cheeks.  
  
She gestured at his arms, sighed and started again "You shouldn't touch me, you wouldn't want to if you knew, you wouldn't want to be near me if you knew"  
  
"If I knew what?" Spike asked gently.  
  
"After I pushed every one away, I . . . I felt that I'd nothing left to live for; the love of my life - gone, and in my state of mind I felt that my friends had left me and not the other way around. So I tried to be the old me, the one they all knew and loved, but that didn't help. I just felt like I was spending all of my time trying to be ok, so they didn't worry. it was so exhausting and then . . ."  
  
"Then what?" he asked tenderly, prompting the story on  
  
"Then when I was on a major low . . .one I didn't think I'd ever get out off, I thought I found a way. I thought I could make it work, all I would have to do was try a little, but it turned out that I couldn't. I couldn't do anything right anymore"  
  
"What didn't work?"  
  
"Me and Angel" she murmured hoping he wouldn't hear, but no such luck.  
  
"You and that poofter?! What?! Why?! and how did he mange that"  
  
"At first I was having none of it, it started just after you found out you'd have to go to England"  
  
"You telling me you were cheating on me?"  
  
"No! No nothing like that I swear. He just kept trying to convince me to leave you for him and I just kept saying no"  
  
"But you never told me"  
  
"I didn't see the point. The two of you never like each other. I thought it was just a crush that he'd get over it. But he didn't. It almost turned into a little ritual, he'd keep asking me out, I'd keep saying no, but it didn't stop him. I'd go to my locker and find a red rose, or the latest album from my latest favourite band just waiting for me, with little love notes attached, sometimes even drawings he had done"  
  
"And whoever said money doesn't buy you love?"  
  
"I guess I deserve that. But one day things changed, it was my all time low. I'd locked myself in my bedroom refusing to eat anything, all I did was sit there in your duster smoking"  
  
"But you never smoked, always hated it. Never stopped giving out to me when I lit up, giving me lectures of how I'd die from it and all"  
  
"I know , I know, . . . but it well it kept the duster smelling of you. Needless to say my mom started getting really really worried, even threatened to check me into a mental hospital if I didn't pull myself back together. So I tried. I started going out to the Bronze, going back to cheerleading practice, all the things that a 'normal' teenage girl is supposed to do"  
  
"Why do I feel that there's a major 'but' coming along?"  
  
"But I was still just a shell of a person. The only time I seemed to be able to feel any emotions was when I was touching someone else, so. . . . so I finally said yes to Angel"  
  
"But why to him, why not to . . . . well to anyone else?"  
  
"Because I thought he really cared about me. He'd never given up on me after two months of me saying no, so I agreed to go to the Bronze with him, and a few dates later it was official. We were Sunnydale Highs 'perfect couple'" Buffy seemed to sneer more at herself then anyone else  
  
"So he just took over from where I left off then did he?" Spike asked bitterly.  
  
"No! no he was nothing like you. Never was never will be. And I'm not just talking about the two of you looking like chalk and cheese, the two of you have almost nothing in common."  
  
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Just that the two of you have different. . . human traits. That's not coming out the way I mean. Ok let try this way. If I have to pick three words to describe you they'd be caring, sweet, and well yeah sexy would still be in there"  
  
"And if you have to pick three for the poofter what would they be? Hair gel, poofter, black clad hunk?"  
  
"um . . . . no. I'd pick deceitful, unfaithful and " she didn't think she could say the third but if was not or never " and . . . abusive"  
  
""That's why I was wanted back here, isn't it? And Willow never told me . . . Hell you never told me . . . how many times did this happen? . .. . how long did it go on for?"  
  
"It started the night that I stopped calling you. He told me that it was the same as cheating on him, and that no one was allowed cheat on him, then he hit me"  
  
"Why didn't you just get up and leave? End it there and then?"  
  
"Because I was afraid. He claimed he was sorry, that he'd never do it again. He claimed that's why the two of you fell out .. .. that you had stolen one of his girlfriends and he wasn't planning on letting you do it again"  
  
"But why did you believe him and not ask me for my side of the story?"  
  
"He looked so heartbroken about the whole thing. God damn it the bastard even cried!"  
  
"Then why didn't you leave him the next time. Why stick around. Did you have a death wish or something?"  
  
"No, it wasn't like that. Who'd have believed me? Angel was the 'all round good guy'. . .. momma's boy, teachers pet and all the bullshit. No matter what scandal got thrown at him, it never stuck. So what good would it have done to tell anyone? And as for leaving him he wouldn't have let me. He told me I wasn't the one who got to choose when it was over, he was and that there was nothing I could do about it"  
  
"Why didn't you write to me, tell me somehow?"  
  
"Well there was the whole not having your address problem. Anyway what could would that have done. You would have been able to do nothing anyway. You were too far away"  
  
"I could have tried something, anything. I dunno I could have tried to come home earlier, it was kinda my fault it all happened in the first place"  
  
"What?! How?"  
  
"Well if I had never went away, chances are you would never have said yes to him, and even if you did I would have been around and would have kicked the shite out of the ponce for you. Speaking of which, where is he?"  
  
"Road trip, should be home in about a fortnight. Promise me Spike that you'll do nothing . . . ."  
  
"What? And let him get away with what he did to my girl?"  
  
A stunned silence settled around the room. Spike had called her his girl. Buffy could have jumped for joy if it wasn't for the whole awkwardness of the situation  
  
"So I'm still your girl?" she asked shyly "well if I'm your girl you would listen to me. There is no point in trying to beat up Angel, no matter how good your intentions are. Don't you see, if you do you're no better then he is. I don't want you lowering yourself to his level. You're better than that"  
  
"It would still feel good to see him crumple like a baby"  
  
"Come on Spike, promise me you won't"  
  
"O.K. I promise, but for the record I'm not liking this one bit"  
  
"I know, I know," she soothed "But I know something that you might like"  
  
"What?"  
  
She pointed at the clock "Do you realise what time it is. Passions is on now in like five minutes. Don't look so scared, I never told anyone that you were a softie at heart, and that you have been know to cry at this show"  
  
"I never did . . . . well maybe once or twice but they were very good reasons"  
  
Buffy smiled "Its ok your secrets safe with me" 


	11. chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

They had sat there in a comfortable silence watching TV. for what seemed like hours when the phone rang. Buffy had just run up stairs to go to the toilet and shouted down for Spike to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello . . . who's this? Where's Buffy?"

"Buff's just run upstairs, she should be down in a minute. Who's this?"

"Its her boyfriend, Angel. And just who the fuck are you?"

"Its Spike. And from what I heard you're not her boyfriend anymore" He said surprised at how calm he sounded.

"Who told you that? It was just a misunderstanding. She didn't mean it. Anyway we are working through it."

Spike looked up to see Buffy coming down the stairs. "Who is it?" she mouthed silently. "Angel" he replied. Buffy's face paled and she signed to Spike that she wasn't there if he asked.

"Oh sorry man, that's just the rumours I heard. Must be my bad."

"Where is she? Should she not be down by now?"

"I dunno, she must be feeling sick. Do you want me to pass on any messages to her?"

"Just tell her we are going to have to have another talk when I come back next Sunday."

"O.k. will do. G'bye"

"What did he want?" Buffy asked nervously

"He wanted to talk to his girlfriend. He's been gone how long and its only now he decides to call?"

"A week, I dunno if there was any other calls. I camped out in Willows for a few days, but I doubt it. He never was much into showing anyone any affection unless he knew he'd get something out of it."

"He's home on Sunday. What you going to do then? You know he's probably going to come over here don't you"

"Yeah I know. I dunno what I'll do. Hide maybe. Or I could dye my hair and go into witness protection that sounds good . . . . . "

"Or I could just sort him out for you"

"You promised me you wouldn't. There will be no beating on Angel on your part. Please. It's as much for your sake as mine. He won't do the beating but don't forget he will get some of the football team to make you life a living hell. I've seen him do it before"

"What if it was self-defence? If he started on me I'd have to be allowed fight back, right? Otherwise it wouldn't be fair"

"I suppose so"

"Good so all I have to do is provoke him into hitting me, then beat the shit out of him" he quipped back smirking

"You're unbelievable"

"And you say that like it's a bad thing"

_ Angels thoughts _

Who had that been on the phone in Buffy's. She should have know better then to have some lad around in her house. He'd only been gone about a week and already she seemed to have disobeyed him, and her telling him he was dumped! She didn't choose when it ended, he did. That name though . . . . Spike. It was familiar, he just didn't know where he had heard it before but he had. And he had an odd accent as well . . . kinda British. Oh shit, no it couldn't be, could it? If Spike Giles was back in Sunnydale, and that was who answered the phone, there would be trouble in 'paradise' Hopefully Buffy would know better then to let him back into her life, let alone her house. But what if she had told him about the split. What if that was how he heard about it not some rumour? If she had told him about the fight had she told him about the 'arguments'? Sure Spike'd never believe her anyway . . . He was the star quarterback. No one would believe her over him . . . except maybe Spike. . . that could make an interesting welcome home he thought ruefully

"Angel, honey are you coming back to bed?" Asked his newest flavour of the week, Faith.

"Yeah, coming now. Say how would you like to come back to Sunnydale with me?"

Let Buffy play all she wanted, but he would show her two could play that game.

**Coffee house - same afternoon**

"Willow, I just don't know what I'm going to do? He claims I'm still his girlfriend!"

"What did Spike say when he heard that? Oh my god, had you told him about it all at that stage?"

"Yeah, but just like an hour or so before! It would have been awful if I hadn't. I can just imagine his face if that happened. But he was great, he really was. He covered up for me, saying I couldn't come to the phone ant all that, he was sooo sweet. And after he got of the phone he made the whole 'egg in a cup' thing I used to love. But now I'm sooo confused"

"Why, what happened?"

"I think we nearly kissed well what I mean is when he was waiting for the eggs to cook, he was just looking at me, and me at him. And all I wanted to do was go over and kiss him, and I was on my, just walking over, and it was as if he knew what I was thinking and was thinking it too .. . . "

"And then?"

"Then the god damn egg timer beeped and the moment was broken! But what I mean is should I feel this way soo soon after breaking up with Angel?"

"Answer me this and answer it honestly. When is the last time you felt like this about Angel? Do you even remember . . . no you don't because it was soo long ago. In the last two days since Spike came back you have spent more time talking about him then you did in a month about Angel, I think that answers the question. And if your still not sure just think. You didn't have a real relationship with Angel for over a year maybe even two, and don't even say it was if it was he wouldn't have treated you like shit like he did. So when you look at it that way its not too soon after it. And don't go and feel bad or guilty for wanting Spike. I think any hot-blooded girl would!"

"Even you?"

"Well, yeah I suppose a little bit. But there is something I want to tell you. I've found someone"

"Why? who was lost?"

"Ha, ha, very funny! No as in I'vefoundsomeoneandamnotsingleanymore!" Willow said in a rush

"What?! Slow down there. Who?"

"Oz, from Dingoes. Remember the ones who played at the Bronze not so long ago?"

"Yeah, I remember them. How long has this being going on you sneaky thing?"

"Officially about a week. I was going to tell you but I thought you had enough on your plate with the whole Angel thing"

"I'm really sorry. You should have still told me. Even in the state I was in I would have gone into auto pilot best friend mode, I would have been there for you, I would have done the whole huggy, congratulations thingy for you!"

"And then break down into tears again, I didn't want to be all happy and glowy when you were as upset as you were. It didn't feel right somehow"

"But you should have been happy, it's a whole happy time! So when do I get to meet him?"

"Well we were going to go to the Bronze tonight, you could come if you want?"

"I don't want to be a whole third wheel thing, I'll just feel awkward"

"You don't have to be a third wheel, you could bring someone with you"

"And who do I have to bring? . . . . . wait I could bring Spike!"

"That took you long enough! And if you don't want to make it look all datey you can just say you don't want to be the odd one out. He'd understand. And who knows you could be the one with the big news and me going into best friend mode doing the whole huggy congratulations thingy for you!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

As Buffy walked home from her coffee with Willow she started to think about what Willow had said to her. She wanted Spike, but didn't know how to go about it. Would he think she was some sort of tramp moving on from Angel so quickly? Would he think he was just her rebound guy and no more? Because she really didn't want him as just a rebound guy. Maybe he'd see it the way Willow had . . . . but how could he? He had never seen her and Angel together like Willow had, he had never witnessed the amount of 'affection' between them, so he probably wouldn't see it like Willow. That was it. She wouldn't try anything . . . she'd just ask him to go to the Bronze as friends. No more, just friends. She'd go up and explain about Willow and Oz and how she didn't want to go it alone. . . .

_Spikes inner dialogue_

'What was I thinking? I nearly kissed Buffy for heavens sake! I should have known better. . . God only knows what she thinks of me now, or what she would have thought of me if I had gone through with it!'

'She'd probably think, you thought that she was some sort of whore,' his inner demon gleefully taunted him. 'And now she thinks, you think she is easy and that you can move right back in where you left of two years ago! Ha! You can't and you know it. Even if you wanted to you couldn't. The girl has been hurt, she's not going to open up and let anyone in anytime soon.'

'But I'm not just anyone, am I? I was her best friend, her boyfriend, if she's going to trust any male again the chances are it will be me.'

But no he couldn't try anything. . . he'd just give her time, and would be there for her, as a friend, unfortunately just friends . . .

Go on Buffy, its not like you haven't done this before. Put one leg in front of the other, left, right, left, all the way up to the front door. Ring the buzzer, and wait for him to answer the door. See not that hard she thought as she rang the doorbell. Spike opened the door, he must have just got out of the shower because he was wearing only a towel.

"Buffy! What you doing here? Come in . . "

"Just walking around, met Willow for coffee and decided to pop in and say hi!"

Spike raised an eyebrow. As believable as the story might be he knew it wasn't true. First off Buffy couldn't lie to save her life. She always seemed to open her eyes really wide and speak in a kinda singsong voice. And second, he'd left her off at the coffee shop when she went to meet Willow and that's not what she had been wearing. He wondered what she really was doing here.

"Sure come into the kitchen, I'll hit the kettle for you. . . ."

Buffy could barely stand it for much longer, soon she knew she wasn't going to be able to control the urge to pin him up against a wall, and once again find what she had been missing. The piece that made her feel whole again. 'Stop looking at his mouth!' she snapped at her self 'why is he opening and closing it like that? Shit he was still talking!'

". . . .back in a second, luv, just going to put some clothes . . ."

But he never got a chance to finish that sentence, as all of a sudden Buffys' mouth was pressed against his, her tongue flicking gently at first just tasting his lips, then becoming more demanding. Once Spike regained his senses he gave back as good as he was getting, devouring her mouth with his, while running his hands up and down her back and playing with her hair. After what seemed like mere seconds, Buffy pulled away, taking in a deep breath of much needed air.

"So, . . Spike this is where you live eh?"

"Buff, I think we should talk about this. We just kissed whether you want to admit it or not, and you can't claim it was the sort of a kiss you gave a friend to greet them."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry k? I just don't know what came over me, must have been hormones or something, sorry"

"So now you seem to have got the whole rebound thing out of your system, I'm guessing we'll be seeing less of this hormonal act on impulse Buffy?"

Buffy lowered her eyes; "Yeah I suppose we will"

You fool, you should have known she didn't mean it; "Good"

Speak now or forever hold your peace, isn't that what they said thought Buffy

"No its not good" Spike looked up at her in surprise "Its not good, you weren't the rebound guy, not by a long shot! I was coming by to ask you if you wanted to go to the Bronze with me tonight, fair enough I was going to have hid it behind the whole Willow-Oz thing, but I wanted to go out with you on a date type thing. I wasn't going to rush into anything, the whole once bitten twice shy theory, but then you open the door half naked, all muscley and I had no choice but to kiss you, there and then. So now judge me whatever way you like .. . . but I have to go"

Spike caught her arm as she went towards the door; " No, now you don't get away that easily. It's good that you think it's not good. I think the same, I just didn't want to say anything in case you actually meant it. And I was afraid if I said it you would feel pressurised into saying it back even if you weren't sure. I've wanted to kiss you like that since I came back, almost did today. If it hadn't been for that bloody egg timer, I would have. But I was afraid I'd hurt you again and I couldn't bear that. Of course I'll go to the Bronze with you, and I don't care if you feel you can't tell your friends about what happened just yet, if you're not ready, but promise me something"

"What?"

"That I'm there when Angel finds out" he replied wickedly

"Oh Shit! What the fuck is Angel going to say? He's going to kill me, and you for that matter. Guess you might get to fight him after all"

"Guess I just might. But before he comes back there is something I have to know. Don't worry you don't have to answer me just now, you can tell me after you think about it for a while. What I was wondering is where do you want to go from here? I mean do you want to just keep it at friends, or do you want to go in for the whole couple thing"

"What do you want to do?"

"It's not my decision to make, pet, lets just put it this way. Whatever you decide I'll be happy"

"So it wouldn't bother you either way?"

"I didn't say that, I know which one I'd prefer to be the answer but I wouldn't have too much of a hussy fit if you picked the other one, maybe just a small one "

"O.k. so if I were to say that I'd like the whole couple thing what would you say?"

"I'd say nothing"

"Nothing? Like as in nothing at all?"

"Like as in nothing at all. What I would do though is go over there to you, and act like your dotting, besotted boyfriend, and kiss you. Starting of very gentle, so gentle our lips would be barely touching, and slowly moving my hand up and down your back, painting pictures there with my fingertips, all the while kissing you tenderly. See I wouldn't say anything at all"

"mmmmmm I like the sound of that, but I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'll have to go with option number two"

"But why?"

"And after the whole, I wouldn't say a word what does he go ahead and do. Typical!" Buffy teased

"Come 'ere to me luv . . ."


	13. Authors Note

**Authors Note**

Hey to anyone who might have been reading this story when it started, i'm so sorry! I had major writers block, but I'm back with a vengeance! Have the next chapter planned for this, and almost another story all in my head. But I'm going to work on this one before starting posting the next one which will be called 'double life' but lets not get ahead of ourselves eh?

I'm in the process of getting a beta, so if you feel interested or just want to drop hints on how you want the story to progress just drop me a line.

And to let you know the course of true love never runs smooth. Spike and Buffy may seem to have fallen together to easy but there will be fights, and trials that not just any couple would get through coming up!!

_Raghnailt_


	14. Chapter 13

******Authors Note:**

**Hey all, I would just like to take this opertunity to thank everyone who reviewed this for me since I decieded to take it up again, it made me realise i made the right decision! And just to butterfly-grl4: don't worry Buffy won't be crying about Angel or if she is its only in realation to the stuff that she let him do to her, but not about him directly, and as for the fight scene if all goes well you might even be treated to it in the next chapter.**

And last but not least i would like to thank my beta Allison, who took on this have done story and helped me get it looking right again!

**Chapter 13**

_(Buffy's Room)_

"Let me do that for you. You look like you're going to straighten your ear if you're not careful," said Willow as she took the GHD's off Buffy. "What's got into you today? I arrive all dressed up and ready to go, and you're here and haven't even started to get ready. It's not like you! Did something happen at Spike's?"

"Well, maybe. I mean-yeah. Yeah, something did happen," replied Buffy with a coy smile. "Are you sure that the blue eyeliner isn't too much? Because I'm not too sure now that I see it with the top."

"Go back there, missy. You can't just say something happened and then just switch on to another subject like that! But don't worry- the blue looks perfect with the top. Stop worrying. Now spill."

"Well, I went over to ask him if he wanted to come with us tonight, and he answered the door in a towel. I mean- have you seen the chest on him? All muscles and perfect… how was a girl meant to resist that? But I did, for a while."

"How long was this while, five minutes? Ten?"

Buffy glanced up shyly. "A little less than that. He was talking, and all I could do was stare! He looked even better than he used to, and all I could do was stare at him. His lips were moving, saying something about putting on clothes, and then it happened. I wanted to taste his mouth, him again! So I kissed him, and he kissed me back," she finished with a smile.

"What happened then? Because I have a funny feeling he wasn't going to let you do your usual evaso-girl, did he?"

"No, he didn't. I did try though. He asked me if I wanted to talk about it, and I said no, but he wouldn't let me get away with that. He thought that I didn't mean it, that I had just kissed him to forget about Angel. I couldn't let him think that, so I told him that I did still care."

"What did he say to that? Did he say whether or not he was coming tonight?"

"Yeah, he is coming tonight. He said he'd pick up his girlfriend and her best friend at nine."

"His girlfriend? Oh my god- congratulations! I knew you guys were perfect for each other."

"Yeah, well, I always said that you were the smart one, didn't I?"

"That you did, that you did."

_(Spike's Bathroom)_

'To go for curls or to just slick it back, that is the question' thought Spike as he looked in the mirror. It was laughable really- he was only going out with Buffy again, and he was worrying which way she would like it. 'I'll slick it back, and if it looks like she'd like it in curls, I can rub the gel out and get it sorted.' Yeah, that's what he would do. He'd turn into a poof, which was just what she would need right now- another thing to look after and worry about.

What was it about Buffy that with just a little smile or by catching your eye that she could get under your skin, and so quickly? How did Angel manage to keep her so long? Oh, that's right- the bastard used brute force on the poor girl. That still confused him. How did he get away with it? The Buffy he had left behind had a strong left hook. Not only had he seen the effects but felt them. It was strange that she had just taken the abuse without a fight. He'd have to ask her about that some day when she was up to talking about it again. But first, he had to beat Angel to a pulp. At least he had a loophole on that one. Yes, he had promised not to go after the son of a bitch, but self-defense- now that was a whole other thing. All he had to do was goad him into hitting him first.

Bloody hell, look at the time. He was going to be late to pick her and Red up. That wouldn't be a great impression to give for their first date. It was funny- even with so much history between them, it still was technically their first date. He took one last glance at the mirror, taking it all in. 'Not too bad,' he mused, looking at the image in front of him. 'Not too bad at all.'

_Buffy's House – Five minutes later_

"Mom, will you get the door for me and tell him we'll be ready in ten minutes, please?"

"William, it's so good to see you again. I heard you were back and was wondering when you would drop by. Would you like a cup of hot chocolate while you wait for the girls to get ready?"

"Do you still have those mini-marshmallows?"

"Of course. So, tell me what kept you away for so long?"

"As you know, I went back to visit my gran, and she was really sick for the first year I was there. Then, about three months ago, she died. It was cancer, just like mum. After she died, I just shut everyone out. She was the last link I had to her, you know? I know Giles was there, but it just wasn't the same thing, you know. When I look at him, all I see is Da, but now, I have nowhere to look to see mum. It's like she is now fully gone."

Joyce handed him the cup of hot chocolate and patted him on the back. "There, there. You know that's not true. You have me as a link to her, or do you forget that we lived together before she met your dad? And as for seeing her, look in the mirror some time. I know your hair may be nothing like hers anymore, but the rest of you is. Except your eyes- they're exactly like your father's. So you see, even though they are dead, they have left you with memories for life, and every time you look into the mirror, you will see something of them."

"Thanks, Joyce. You're a real star, you know that, don't you?" Spike said as he gave her a hug.

"You better not let Buffy catch you doing that. You know how jealous she can get," she replied with a wink.

"Catch you doing what?" a voice coming down the stairs asked. "Are you chatting up my mom again, Spike? I thought we talked about this."

Spike smirked at her. "But you know I can't until she gives me a chance to win her heart."

"Well, I think you already have. You don't realize that I practically have to beg her for those mini-marshmallows, and you just walk in and get them straight out. If you were anyone else, I might think Mom was chasing after you. Now, come on, we'll be late for the Bronze, and Willow is dying to introduce us to Oz."

"Right behind you, luv, right behind you." He turned around and gave Joyce a hug, whispering his thanks, before following Buffy out to the car.

_The Bronze_

The trio entered the Bronze to be greeted by an odd-looking man with blue hair. Buffy and Spike could only assume that this was the famous Oz from the way Willow launched herself into his arms, only to be enveloped in a giant bear hug. The two blondes shared a look; Red seemed to have it bad, they thought.

After a few minutes, Willow seemed to have re-orientated herself enough to realize that she had left the other two just standing there. "Sorry, I forgot the introductions. Spike and Buffy, this is Oz. Oz, these two are Spike and Buffy," she said, gesturing to each one in turn. "Come on, let's find a table."

"Yeah, sure, there's an empty one over there. You girls go over, and I'll get us a round of drinks. The usual for everyone?" Both girls nodded. "Well, mate," he said while gesturing to Oz, "care to help me carry the drinks back to these lovely ladies?" Oz nodded and followed after Spike's retreating form.

"You do know that he is going to give him the big brother talk, don't you? 'You hurt her, I'll kill you', followed by a death glare to scare him into being nice," Buffy said to Willow.

"Yeah, but I've already warned Oz that the chances of him getting 'the talk' were high, so it's not as bad as it could be."

Buffy just gave her a look. "You're serious? This is the guy that came back from England two months early because you hinted something was wrong, and that was before he even knew that it was abuse. This is the same guy that when Cordelia tried to cut your hair in science lab, spun around and gave her a lovely lopsided fringe? But yeah, I'm sure you are right. Oz will be able to handle him."

"Oh god, do you think I should go up there?"

"No. Leave them at it. I'm sure he'll be nice enough. It's not like Oz is an asshole. They're probably up there talking about music or something."

"Look, mate, the girls would probably kill me if they thought I was going to say what I'm about to say to you, but I am warning you now, for the first and final time, if I find out you hurt Red intentionally, I will hunt you down. Now, on the other hand, if I find out that you are as nice as Red seems to think you are, then I will think of you as a savior. It will be good to have a bit more testosterone around the table to save me from the two girls. You understand me?"

"100%, but I have to ask you something. What's between you and Buffy? Cause I don't know if you know or not, but she's going out with Angel, the big man at school."

"Not anymore, she's not," Spike practically growled. "She was, but not anymore. He's an asshole, and if he even thinks about trying to get her back, I will kill him."

"So the rumors are true then? Did he actually hit her?"

"What? What do you know about that?"

"Well, I've seen them in the school corridor, and lately, she hasn't looked too happy. I know he wasn't happy with her hanging around with her old friends, said they were filling her head with nonsense. The only one of them that stuck by her was Willow, and in the end Angel, started to accept her. Not like her, anyone could see that, but he put up with her for the sake of it."

"Look, I made a promise to Buffy that I'd never tell what she told me until she was ready to let people know, so I won't. But what I will say is that you are not as far from the truth as most people would think. So if you see Angel when he comes back, and I'm not there for some reason, will you keep an eye on her for me?"

"No problem. Now, I think we better get back to the girls before Willow starts wondering if you really did go for me or not."

The two males made their way back to the group, oblivious to another couple staring intently at them the whole time. Each of them slid into the chair next to their better half and slipped their arms around their girls, almost as if they were protecting them from the unseen foe. The whole group was chatting away amongst themselves for what felt like hours, getting to know each other again. Buffy hadn't felt this relaxed and happy in such a long time, but something was nagging at her deep inside. How long would this last before Angel got back and ruined it all? No, tried to ruin it, she corrected. He wasn't going to win this time. Spike looked at Buffy. She seemed to be deep in thought, and from the way her hand was clenched, it didn't appear to be of the good.

"Care to dance?" he asked as he held out his hand to her and led her out to the dance floor. It still amazed him how she fitted so perfectly beside him, be it on the dance-floor or in. . . don't be a fool. There will be time enough to think of that again. No need to rush the girl- she's here, she's happy, and she's safe- that's the main thing. Whatever you do, don't push her, or she could run, and you wouldn't know what to do to find her then.

_So dear to me  
  
Always keep me company  
  
Who needs to go outside  
  
I will be your silent bride  
  
I can't take my eyes off you _

She loved the feeling of being in his arms again after so long. He was so different than Angel. When Angel was holding her like this while they danced, she felt trapped, smothered even. Yet, in Spike's arms, she felt loved and cherished, but she knew she'd be able to leave them. With Angel, it was just a way in which to control her. She sighed happily as she lay her head against his shoulder and slowly, but deliberately, stuck her tongue out and licked the length of his neck with a smile.

_  
  
Nothing ever needs to be said  
  
You send your message  
  
right into my head  
  
You fill me up when I'm alone  
  
So soothing is your monotone _

'What was the bitch doing?' fumed the man in the shadows. 'She should know better. Not only dancing with him, if that's what you could call it. She would pay for embarrassing him like this. He had warned her, but had she listened? She would be punished. She deserved to be.'

"Hey, baby, would you like to dance, or are you just going to stare at that blonde couple all night?" Faith asked him with a glare. "I didn't come back with you for you to go all broody every time you see your ex."

_  
  
I can't take my eyes off you  
  
I can't take my eyes off you _

What was the little mix doing? She had started to lick the side of his neck and was now gently sucking his Adam's apple. Where did she learn to do these things with her tongue? On second thought, maybe I don't want to know, he mused. He moved his head down until his mouth was just at her ear and slowly licked behind it, knowing how sensitive it was, before smiling wickedly at her, whispering in her ear, "Two can play at that game." He then lifted her head upwards and kissed her passionately.

_So maybe you're not as real as the others  
  
But I choose you over all my past lovers  
  
For they have come and they have gone_

_but I can always turn you on  
  
_

"Luv, do you fancy going outside for a bit of air and a chat?"

Buffy looked up at him. "Yeah, sure. Are you ok?"

"Just fancy a smoke and a chance to have some alone time with my girl."

"Alone time, eh? And from the look on your face, I doubt that that means just holding hands, now doesn't it?" Spike managed to look slightly sheepish. "Just give me a moment to let Willow know and grab my coat, ok?"

"Sure."

_  
  
I can't take my eyes off you  
  
I can't take my eyes off you_

'Where was she going this early? And why was Spike still following her? Did he not know she had gotten over him? She's with me now,' thought Angel, glaring at the blonde duo. ' I'll teach her a lesson, and she won't forget it this time,' he vowed as he walked out of the club after them.


	15. Chapter 14

**_Authors Note_**

_I would just like to say thank you to everyone who have left a review, Magickrules2004, James Lee, Spikeandme, and Willow-189. This is just a short wee chapter it was going to be this chapter and the next one joined together, but i hade a crap night at a debs (kinda like a prom) last night and got my money stolen :( so i needed a pick me up. And to Willow-189 if all goes to plan there will be W/O smouchies at the end of the next chapter and if not the start of the one after. Hope you all enjoy, Raci_

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Chapter 14

Not long after their dance in the Bronze, Spike could be seen leading Buffy towards the beach. He hoped his plan would work as he lifted the blanket out of the trunk of the DeSoto.

"Where are you taking me?" questioned Buffy.

"It's a surprise, pet. Don't worry, you'll love it," he assured as he laid the blanket out on the sand. "You can open your eyes now if you want"

Buffy gasped as she saw the romantic scene in front of her. "You remembered?"

"How could I forget? This is where we had our first kiss. We were lying out under the stars, and I was trying to name them when you leaned over and kissed me."

"Did you know that when you were gone, I used to come down here after a fight with..."

"Shh, don't mention his name. Let's forget about him, just for tonight."

"But he'll be back tomorrow. What will we do then?"

"Same thing we're doing now. The only thing that will change is I won't leave your side unless I know you are safe. Pretty much the same thing I do anyway," he whispered with a smile. "Now, come on and lie down with me, and we can look at the stars."

Buffy lowered herself down and laid her head against his chest. "I missed this, you know. I honestly thought that I would never get this back. I never thought that I'd get you back or that you would even come back."

"You didn't get me back- you just never lost me. A home is not where your house is. Remember when I told you that every one should make a home in their own mind? Fill it with friends that you love and trust, and treasure memories instead of furniture? Then, if you have to go away, you can always take your home with you, and it eases the loss of the people you love."

"But the people you loved were all over there. You went back with your uncle to see your family," Buffy murmured softly.

"Do you really think that? Do you really think I didn't love you?"

"Well, you never said, so I just assumed you didn't. And I was always afraid to tell you. I think I felt that if I told you, I would lose you, just like I lost my dad. As it turned out, I lost you anyway," Buffy said as she turned her head away. After all she'd been through, she couldn't bear to see the pity that she was sure was in his eyes.

"You silly bint. of course I loved you! I can't believe you didn't realize. And you didn't lose me. You just temporally became insane and went with Peaches, but I was still there waiting for you."

Buffy was stunned. She couldn't believe it. After all this time, he still cared for her. 'No, not cared,' she corrected herself. 'He loved her.'

She leaned over to kiss him gently on the lips and was delightfully surprised when he reached around and pulled her closer to him. Within seconds, the kiss was becoming more and more frantic. Buffy started to run her fingers up and down his chest, feeling his muscles beneath his top, and started to slowly pull it higher and higher until she had to break away from the kiss to pull it off over his head.

Once his top was off, she tossed it over to the side and shimmied down until her knees were between his legs. She latched her mouth onto his nipple and started to suck on it, lifting her head away occasionally to blow cold air on it, causing Spike to moan.

"Holy shit, woman. Where did you learn how to do that, or do I want to...."

"She learned it from me. Take my word for it- she may not be the best cock sucker, but she is still good for one or two things. Isn't that right, Buff?" a gruff voice replied.

"Get away from me, you asshole," Buffy said as she slowly moved behind Spike. "It's over. We're over. Just leave me alone."

"But it's not over, not until I say so. And definitely not if what you are planning on doing is that piece of shit," Angel snarled as he gestured at Spike. "I thought we talked about this. You told me that you were over him. So it seems that not only did you lie to me, but you were also cheating on me with him the whole time, weren't you? As soon as my back is turned, you sneak lover-boy into town, just like the whore you were when I started going out with you. But I believed you when you promised me that those days were over."

"It wasn't like that," Buffy spluttered, only to be stopped by Spike.

"You don't need to defend yourself, pet. You did nothing wrong. It was him, every time. I knew he was a piece of dirt long before I left, and I made him promise that he would stay away from you because I didn't want you to be involved in some of his less than legal dealings. And as for him accusing you of cheating, well that seems to be rich coming from him with every thing you told me about the two of you."

"But as for you, Peaches," Spike spat with contempt. "What you did was despicable. To find out that the only way you can keep a woman is to beat her into submission. What would daddy say if he found out what a thug his darling boy is? It could ruin your career if this got out- unfaithful women beater. Tut tut tut tut."

Out of nowhere, a fist came flying towards Spike's face, knocking him to the ground, and before he had a chance to react, he found himself pinned down. "Do you do this to make yourself feel big, or maybe you just get off on being the dominatrix. I can picture you in the leather get-up. Must be a real turn on for all the boys in the locker room, eh?"

"Shut the fuck up, you cocky piece of shit. You know nothing about any of it. You leave the scene for two years and expect everything to be the way you left it when you come back."

"I know you stole my girl as soon as my back was turned, and you know I might have even let you away with it if I thought she was happy. But to beat her, to isolate her from most of her friends, all the while saying you were doing it out of love for her- now that I will never understand or forgive." Spike twisted under Angel, reversing their positions. "How do you like it now?" He growled as he laced his final punches into the squirming man underneath him. "How do you like to be on the other end of the fucking punches? Not as good as giving them, is it?" He swung for him one last time and smirked to himself when he heard a crack and looked down to see that Angel's nose looked broken.

"If you ever come near me or my girlfriend again, I will make you wish that I had killed you now. And don't think that it's a threat. It's not- it's a promise!"

Buffy walked over to where the two men were on shaky legs, looked at Spike, and gave him a shy smile. Then, turning to stare at the bloodied man beside her, she felt her strength coming back to her and walked over to kick her ex in the groin.


	16. Chapter 15

**AN:** Yet again i'm sorry this took so long, i thought that in between finishing work and starting college i'd have time i clean forgot about packing and getting settled!! woops

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 15**

"I'd love to have seen his face! After nearly two years, not only does she stand up to him, but she actually kicks him in the....well, you know what I mean. Like, wow, what a turn around!"

Oz smiled at his girlfriend's enthusiasm. He was glad that Buffy had finally put Angel straight but was a little bit worried about what Angel would do about it. Everyone knew Angel didn't like his reputation as 'bad-ass' upset, but with an ex kicking him in the groin, well, it had spread around the town like wild-fire. He'd already heard three different versions of the story, and it was only 11 in the morning!

"Do you not think that Buffy should watch out more now than she was? Will he not be out for blood?"

Willow's brow furrowed. "God, I didn't think of that. Well, seeing as Spike thinks he broke his nose, maybe he won't be out and about 'til it is fixed..."

"'Til what is fixed?" asked Buffy curiously. Neither of the two redheads had seen her come in. She slid into the booth beside Willow.

"Well, we were talking about Angel's nose. We were wondering if he would come out before the swelling had gone down. Do you think he will leave you alone now? Or maybe would this anger him even more?"

"Oh, I don't know. Boy, he was pissed when he left! He had some dark-haired girl in the car with him when he drove away, so maybe it will be all ok. He has a new conquest now. He said some really nasty things, though, tried to mess with Spike's head about me."

"What did he say?"

"I don't really want to remember all of it, but let's just say that if he even thinks of saying them again, Spike may well send him to the hospital."

"Spike, my man, when did you get back?"

"A week or so ago. When I heard it, I didn't believe it. Xander as a jock? What happened here when I was gone? Everything has seemed to do a 180."

"I guess you heard that Buffy is going out with Angel then?"

"Was," Spike growled. "He didn't deserve her, and finally she realized it and dumped him. He didn't take too kindly to that, I can tell you."

"I didn't know they broke up. He didn't say that last time I was talking to him."

"When was that?"

"This morning. He got mugged last night- nose broken and everything!"

"He didn't get mugged. I can't say what happened to him, though, not my story to tell."

"It was you, wasn't it?"

"Xander, look, it's better if you don't know. Safer for you. Out of interest, is he still into the shit?"

"What shit?"

"The drugs, man. Is he still dealing?"

"Yeah, he is. Tried once to stop him- learned the hard way not to try."

"Tell me, does Buffy know? I mean, did he every do any or any deals in front of her or with her?"

"No that I know for a fact. He was always going on about what a stupid bimbo she must be for not coping on."

"And you let him away with doing that to her? I thought you said you would look after her when I was away. And not only did you let her go out with him, you let him keep dealing and beat her up, but you joined him and the other fucking jocks!"

"It wasn't like that. He was determined that when you went, he would have her. Even used me to get to her. But I caught on that it would be better for her if she knew none of it. If she did, she would have been involved, and I did like you said and kept updates going to the police, but they could never get him. The easiest way to protect her was to lose her and stand by Angel. That's what I did."

"Ok, calm yourself. I'm sure she's attacked you enough for doing that, so I'm not going to. As stupid as it sounds, it's worked mostly. I'm on my way to meet her and Red- do you want to join me and rebuild some bridges?"

"Will she let me?"

"I'll talk to her, and you can then explain to her yourself. I'm not getting on the bad side of her, not this early on."

"This early on?"

"Yeah. For some reason, she agreed to take me back. Made me feel damn guilty about not trying to get back sooner rather than later but finally let me away with it. Come on, we better get going. I'm late, and the wifey awaits."


End file.
